I wanted to live in New York since the mid eighties; since I was twelve and saw women wearing sneakers with suits on 5th Ave.
When I finally moved at 34 I felt a strange sense of loss.
the me that wanted to live in NY her whole life.
who cried watching Devil Wears Prada because she wasn’t living in new york, was gone and I felt her loss.
“Learn to Teach, Teach to Learn,” is the slogan at the company Yoga Works where I landed my first teaching gig. It is also the slogan I cut out from an Oprah magazine for my “vision board” before I moved to NY. Vision Boards work.
The city was so big that I couldn’t comprehend the way it worked. It took three years for New York to feel like home.
I left my brown computer bag on a brown bench by the subway. Gone were my keys, wallet, phone and computer without a password on it. I swear my stomach was in that bag too when I realized what I had done and the subway doors were closing, “BING BONG!”
I got this email from a person three days after he hacked into my amazon account and email account and ordered himself 6 Wiis, 5 iPhones and 3 iPads, none of which went through on my card because I was a poor NYer.
Hello, My name is XXX
I am the teen that found your laptop.
I found it on the train.
I am sorry for what I did.
So in saying that I want to make you a deal.
I, do not have the laptop it was stolen out of my house.
But I know you are still mad at me and I want to fix everything.
Will you be willing to meet me in person.
Please reply back to me by 12 today.
I envisioned fancy couples living in beautiful old apartments in New York. I hoped I would live similarly.
On moving day into my dark box of an apartment, I carried half open boxes and garbage bags up from the lobby to my apartment. This crushed my ideal and I felt badly for leaving garbage bags in the lobby. Later, I learned New York isn’t fancy and that she actually loves garbage bags!
Today it’s a nail salon, a Sweetgreen, a Duane Reade, an Equinox, a Yoga Studio, a mobile phone store, and a mobile charging station.
I saw a bachelor from The Bachelorette walking down Park Ave and stopped him to say both sincerely and sarcastically, “You were great on that show!” I knew a lot about him because I watched the show. On a date with him that evening, instead of asking him questions I knew the answers to, I self- consciously recited my resume; it was awkward. I ran into him three more times realizing New York is actually a bunch of small cities in one big one.
I saw many real celebrities. Some, I could not immediately identify. I saw Tony Bennett carrying a song book with the letters, T-o-n-y B-e-n-n-e-t-t. That one was easy.
I didn’t get cast on SNL, but I met the entire cast at a party with my best friend from acting school. I wanted to do something special so I brought a baseball that I had painted after seeing someone’s special baseball art collection. I had every cast member sign it.
….I think this is why I could meditate in New York without feeling like there was something better to do. There were so many better things to do that they canceled each other out…
I lost my wallet, again, just two weeks ago. I am going to be losing New York soon because I want to. Because New York didn’t just take two wallets. It took a part of me. Good and bad parts. My brother told me that when a grapevine has to grow its roots far in search of water, it produces better fruits than those who don’t have to struggle. I love this idea, but it’s time for me to water my grapevines.
Everything in my lost wallets is replaceable. We all know that New York isn’t…
we are moving to Somerville, Massachusetts.
The best part about NY is that I met my fiancé here. Thanks Manhattan. I’ll miss ya.
We are getting married this Friday, October 12, 2018 in the city!
I love you in the summer, New York
I love you in the Winter, New York
I love you from above, New York
I love you from below, New York